This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.
Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.